Understanding Stay/Leave Decision-making among Filipinos in Violent Intimate Relationships

Abstract

Violence in intimate relationships is a silent crime. Some people do not even know that they are already abused by their partner. Police reports and data taken from NGOs contain statistics of abuse mostly reported by women, majority of which were physical. These however are incomplete and may inaccurately depict the real extent of the incidence of abuse. Women are not the only victims of violence and abuse comes in different forms. Aside from physical, there are also emotional and sexual forms of abuse in intimate relationships. In response to these, some decide to leave while others opt to stay with their partner. What then are the factors that influence such stay/leave decision-making among Filipinos in violent relationships? This is what the present research aimed to investigate. The variables which the researcher focused on were: sex, religion, civil status and age of the victim; duration of the relationship; and type of abuse. Two hundred eight (208) respondents who admitted to have been victims of violence in intimate relationships were interviewed. Respondents were selected through purposive sampling. A semi-structured interview guide was used for the Focus Group Discussions (FGD). The results indicated that many stayed indefinitely in abusive relationships. Although many thought of leaving their partner immediately after the abuse, they first considered a number of factors. These are love for their partner; hope that their partner would change; attachment to their partner's family; fear of partner's retaliation; love for their child; and the belief that abuse normally happens in intimate relationships. The other respondents who left their partner did so because of loss of love; increase in emotional abuse; additional social support; children’s risk for becoming harmed; and increased access to various resources such as education and work. Male and female respondents, 41 years old and above, decided to stay with their partner unlike their younger counterparts. Marital status was not significant in the decision-making of the victims. Those who were Roman Catholics irrespective of their sex decided to stay with their partner. Those who were physically and sexually abused also stayed but due to different reasons. Physically abused partners took into consideration the level of physical abuse. Sexually abused victims stayed because they did not know what constituted sexual abuse, thus not viewing their experiences as such. The male respondents who were emotionally abused immediately left their partner while the female respondents did otherwise. The length of time spent with the batterer indicated significance in this study because only those respondents who have been with their partner for a year & below decided to leave their partner after the abuse. Finally those who have been with their abusive partner for a greater period of time decided to stay despite the abuse.