"Grief of X ? Grief of Y" : a study on the bereavement of fathers and mothers in relation to child’s death.

Abstract

This study dealt with the differences in grief between 27 bereaved couples recruited from the Inang Naulila sa Anak (INA) Foundation, an organization for bereaved parents, who lost the same child to death. The mean age of the bereaved fathers was 52 years while mothers were 49 years of age on average. The deceased children ranged from pre-birth to adulthood. The causes of death were variable.

A combination of survey and in-depth interviews was used in the study. Paired t-test was used to analyze the significant differences between the two groups with regard to the study variables.

Overall, there was no significant difference in the bereavement scores of fathers and mothers in relation to their child’s death. Specific scale items. however, indicated that bereaved mothers’ grief responses were significantly higher with regard to level of gratitude, liability, vulnerability to pain, loss of appetite, openness in joining support groups and organizations, and close relationship with God. These indicate that women are more expressive and tend to talk about their feelings more with others. Meanwhile, bereaved fathers were found to be significantly higher in their tendencies to isolate themselves, become socially sensitive, keeping a healthy body despite the death of their children and higher inclination to vices which only shows that men cope with such emotions in a more solitary and physical way. Recommendations for bereaved fathers to free themselves of stereotypes and societal expectations about men and grief, for bereaved couples to understand and support each other better and for support groups to improve their programs were presented. Suggestions for future researches were provided as well.