A Qualitative Study on Forgiveness in the Context of Marital Infidelity

Abstract

Literature regarding forgiveness in the context of marital infidelity is scarce and needs further exploration to gain further understanding of the topic. This study which aimed at providing an additional literature on the realm of forgiveness had been significant for it has opened a new dimension to deal with. In the study, women were found to be more affected and most likely to encounter difficulty in recovering from a failed marriage. Three main reasons were given. First is the involvement of children which is also the reason why most women did not have a separation the moment they found the infidelity. Next is being a battered wife which incurred deeper emotional pain and long-lasting hatred towards their infidel husbands. Last is the destruction of self-concept which diminished their positive self-regard and perceived themselves as unworthy of love. On the other hand, men were more concerned with their machismo image as the one which was greatly devastated by infidelity. Moreover, they can easily recover from a failed marriage compared to women. Forgiveness appeared to be a conditional phenomenon for both genders. Three main reasons were presented to explain the facilitation of forgiveness in the context of marital infidelity. The first one is religiosity as related to forgiving behavior. Religion is a crucial factor in attaining forgiveness since it obliges an individual to forgive a person who transgressed. Next reason is finding a second romantic partner. Individuals from failed relationships were overwhelmed by the feeling of finding a second romantic partner enough to overlook the feelings of rejection brought by infidelity. Last reason was perceiving their infidel spouses as debtors who have already paid for suffering from misfortunes like death and poverty. Literature provides the idea that remorsefulness facilitates forgiving behavior. In the study, there was no correlation of forgiveness and remorsefulness that was measured. However, the opinion of the respondents regarding the idea was confirmed. For them, individual’s who transgressed were most likely to be forgiven if they asked for forgiveness compared to those who were not. This qualitative study on forgiveness in the context of marital infidelity can be further improved by future studies by acquiring more respondents and focusing more on other issues. Moreover, extending the study by involving the children of failed relationships would be of great help in acquiring more substantial information of forgiveness in the context of marital infidelity.